Jeff Foxworthy: You Might be from O-hi-uh if...

Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio. All I have to say is "Go Bucks!" You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:

1. You think all football teams are supposed to wear orange!
2. You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
3. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
4. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
5. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
6. You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
7. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.
8. "Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
9. You measure distance in minutes.
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
12. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
13. You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: "Where's my coat at?"
15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
16. You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
17. You carry jumper cables in your car.
18. You know what 'pop' is.
19. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
20. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!
21. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
22. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports
23. You know which leafs make good toilet paper

You know you are blonde if...

You know you are blonde if...

	Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
	Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
	You have ran into a glass/screen door.
	You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
	You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
	You have ran into a tree.
	It IS possible to lick your elbow
	You just tried to lick your elbow.
	You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
	You just tried to sing them.
	You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
	You have choked on your own spit.
	You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
	You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
	You just looked at it.
	Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.
	People have called you slow.
	You have accidentally caught something on fire
	You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
	You have caught yourself drooling.
	You’ve fallen asleep in class
	If someone says “fart” you laugh.
	You just laughed.
	Sometimes you just stop thinking
	You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
	People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
	You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
	You use your fingers to do simple math.
	You have eaten a bug.
	You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
	You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
	You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
	You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
	You break a lot of things.
	Your friends know not to use big words around you
	You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
	You have fallen out of your chair before
	When you’re laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling