Thursday, November 20, 2008

Money + Black Friday = Happiness?

Hey Listers,

“They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the f***ing smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.”

Great quote. Great movie. It may not ring true for all you listers, but certainly strikes a cord with me. You see, I have this uncanny ability to spend money. Sounds terrible I know. It is. It’s as if the pocket of my jeans were actually on fire and Best Buy sold the only extinguisher in town.

For anyone like me, this smoldering “burden” makes Thanksgiving more like Black Friday Eve. Forget the corn and yams, I’ll devour as much tryptophanic turkey as I can, because the faster I unbuckle my belt, the faster I plop on that couch, the faster I fall asleep, and the faster the 5 a.m. early bird specials come around. I cannot wait! I’ll admit, one my pet peeves is standing in line (due to an ADHD-induced lack of patience). Not to mention my displeasure with the frigid Midwest November weather. But the sales make all the miseries worth the wintry wait.

I am pretty sure Black Friday grew from people’s tendencies to start their Christmas shopping for friends and loved ones the day after Thanksgiving. And believe me, until Black Friday is marked as an official holiday in America, I will be using my float days to pretend it is (btw, Barack, if you’re listening maybe you should consider my plea as a part of your fiscal rescue plan for your inaugural year in the Oval Office).

For me Black Friday as good as it gets. Forget Christmas and birthdays when you get presents you don’t want and never asked for: the multi-colored plaid shirts, re-gifted label-makers, and holiday gift baskets with 6 types of cheese and chocolate that come February turn to so moldy your chocolate lab won’t even steal off your kitchen counter. My Black Friday shopping carts are selfishly stuffed with toys for me. It’s awful really. I am not a selfish person – just a victim of marketing.

Take my downfalls as a lesson of the misguided and ill-mannered. The holiday season is not about toys. It’s not about gifts and getting. It’s about giving. And it doesn’t even have to be the gift of material things – give love and happiness and help. Lend a hand to those in need and enjoy your time with family and friends. But also remember:

“Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't f***ing have any.”

Lists Hidden in This Newsletter

Top 10 Most Memorable "Boiler Room" Quotes

Best Movies to Watch if You are in Sales

Best Buys on GPS Systems

Tryptophan is a TV Star

Top 10 Tips to Bag a Bargain on Black Friday

Worst Lines to Stand In

Best Black Friday Deals, Sales, and Specials

Top 10 Holidays We Don't Have Off - BUT SHOULD!

George Bush Jokes, George W Jokes, and more Dubya Jokes

Rules of Life According to "Seinfeld"

Chocolate Lab Dog Name Ideas

Picture Slideshow List: Hilarious Canadian Signs and Cartoons

Best Toys Ever

Do These 10 Things for True Happiness

Phoebe's Songs (from Friends)

Funniest F-Bombs Dropped on Live Television

ListAfterList Updates and Reminders

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