Why I stopped reviewing movies

Everyone's top 10 is different.

On December 20th 2011, I officially reviewed my final film. Since then, I have been asked multiple times why I quit. After 2½ years, 401 top-ten articles, and 943 attention-span-sensitive movie reviews, how can I just stop? The answer is simple: my opinion doesn't matter.

Think about how many times you've disagreed with the critics. Now think about how many times you've disagreed with your friends. How can anyone know if you'll like something -- especially some stranger who's never met you?

The truth of the matter is no one person's opinion matters, not even an expert's. My opinion doesn't matter. Richard Roeper's opinion doesn't matter. And neither does the opinion of the person sitting next to you on the couch or in the theater.

Consensus reviews and social suggestions are the future of critic recommendations. 

There's a reason why The Academy Awards have been giving out Oscars for 84 years. And it's the same reason RottenTomatoes.com has over two million visitors per month. The consensus opinion is the only way to fairly judge what's best and truly make a recommendation of value.

But now, in today's highly connected world of social networks and technology, not only are the reviews of those experts more easily collected and quantified into meaningful rankings, but so can the reviews from your friends. And like everything else in life, the opinions of those closest to you are the only ones that really matter.

It's why Facebook's "Like" button is so meaningful, and why those posts with the most "likes" appear at the top of your homepage. It's also why the most tweeted and retweeted topics appear on the new #Discover tab of Twitter.

Don't get me wrong, expert opinions still have their place. The experts have the time to narrow the field for us. They can see everything, find the diamonds in the rough, and direct us down the path towards the "likable." Without the experts -- plural -- we'd have no guide. But only our "friends" -- those with similar interests and opinions -- can possibly predict what we will actually "like." 

The death of news? Long live a world wide web of keywords

News isn't dead. It's just transforming with the new forms of media.

There used to just be news. It didn't come in multiple forms. In the beginning, it didn't even come from multiple sources. It used to just be word of mouth. You heard about the news from friends, family, and neighbors. It was extremely local, which in turn made it extremely interesting and extremely relevant. Any and all news was newsworthy.

Then specific news sources were created -- newspapers, followed by radio and TV, and finally the world wide web -- eventually creating a news network so vast, reaching so many, that news was no longer newsworthy.

So news was divided into sections, creating not only local and national news for specific geographic regions, but also topical sections based on human interests. These human interests became the key to delivering the most newsworthy information to the most interested audience. And so, self-selecting audiences were born. Audiences who self-selected themselves as being interested in certain topics and sections of news. It started in the form of "pass me the sports section"; which became "favorited" niche websites and blogs; and eventually became what we know today as a "Like" or a "Follow".

But today, news is not only divided into sections for specific self-selecting audiences, it's also broken down by specific keywords. These keywords are used to tag or label news with specific related terms. The entire internet is based on the relationship between these keywords. Without them, Google wouldn't be relevant, Wikipedia wouldn't be vast, Twitter wouldn't be as global, and you wouldn't end up on oranges when you started with apples. Without keywords, you not only wouldn't be able to find what you consider newsworthy, you also wouldn't discover anything new.

Today, news is all related through a interconnected web of keywords -- the world wide web of keywords. And without it, news would die.

I know.

The greatest movie quote of all-time?

"I know."

Simple. Elegant. Cool. Confident. Romantic. Sexy. Tough. Great.

And like Han Solo, that's all that needs to be said.

Rebranding in the 2010s: The Netflix slash Qwikster debacle

I've experienced this myself -- when a company I worked for briefly split in two and became one company with two websites. It was a difficult decision, and even more difficult transition.

There are the obvious complications that come with re-branding a business: new logos, new colors, new business cards, new letterheads, etc. These are the same problems transitioning companies have dealt with for years. But today there is so much more to worry about.

Today, rebranding businesses have to consider the transitions in the digital world as well. 

There's website domains. Is your URL available? Or how much is it going to cost you to purchase it from that squatter?

There are SEO effects. Sure 401 redirects will combat a complete domain swap. But all the work you've done creating inbound links from other highly-ranked websites; all the research on META tags, keywords, and descriptions; and any positive effects you've received from social search (SPYW) is as worthless as having a Facebook page with zero "likes."

Which leads me to the biggest issue -- and the one that eventually put an end to Netflix's rebranding fiasco -- is the question of what to do if your handle isn't available on the social networks?

Just as there are domain squatters for URLs, there are Twitter and Facebook handle squatters. As soon as it becomes apparent any social network is the "next big thing" and opens itself up to business and companies, users sign up and sit on social network names. Heck, I'm not even squatting and I have 27 Twitter accounts and 13 Facebook usernames. But unlike URLs which have democratic companies monitoring and maintaing these domains (i.e. GoDaddy), social network handles are a ruleless wild west for name-squatting cowboys (and cowgirls).

The moment Netflix announced they were rebranding their DVD mailing service as Qwikster people jumped on net and blew up search engines with the term "Qwikster" -- which inevitably lead them to find a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking Elmo who already owned the Twitter account for @Qwikster. It was major flaw in C-suite's plan for Netflix. Something you'd expect a company as successful as Netflix to have thought of. But they didn't. And they soon lost the quickdraw gun fight with Jason Castillo (aka @Qwikster) who's since cleaned up is act a bit -- changing his profile picture to a crest and washing his mouth out with soap -- but not before single-handedly putting an end (and some bad PR) to the Netflix / Qwikster debacle. And...

The Academy is out of touch with the general movie-watching public

The American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) must have a sign hanging outside their door: "No wizards, witches, puppets, mutants, bridesmaids, drivers, or samurais allowed!" Because these are the films they nominated for the Best Picture Oscar this year:

• The Artist
• The Descendants
• Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
• Hugo
• Midnight in Paris
• The Help
• Moneyball
• War Horse
• The Tree of Life

Not only are these nine films not in the general movie-going top 10, according to the box office numbers for 2011:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - $381,011,219
2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon - $352,390,543
3. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - $281,287,133
4. The Hangover Part II - $254,464,305
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - $241,071,802
6. Fast Five - $209,837,675
7. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - $207,533,800
8. Cars 2 - $191,452,396
9. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - $185,538,618
10. Thor - $181,030,624

But they are also not in the general movie-critic's top 10. This is what RottenTomatoes currently has each of those nine films rated at (if you don't know, these percentages are based on the number of "approved" critics who gave the film a positive review):

• The Artist - 97%
• The Descendants - 90%
• Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - 46%
• Hugo - 94%
• Midnight in Paris - 93%
• The Help - 76%
• Moneyball - 95%
• War Horse - 76%
• The Tree of Life - 84%

And lastly, and most importantly *wink*, this is what I thought about those nine films:

• The Artist - See-it - 10th best film of the year
• The Descendants - See-it - 15th best film of the year
• Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - Skip-it - outside the top 50
• Hugo - See-it - outside the top 50
• Midnight in Paris - Rent-it - 16th best film of the year
• The Help - Rent-it - outside the top 50
• Moneyball - See-it - 3rd best film of the year
• War Horse - Skip-it - outside the top 50
• The Tree of Life - Rent-it - 33rd best film of the year

IMHO, these are the films I thought were the 10 best of 2011, and the films the Academy should've nominated:

1. Drive
2. Source Code
3. Moneyball 
4. X-Men: First Class
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 
6. Bridesmaids 
7. 13 Assassins
8. The Muppets
9. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy 
10. The Artist 

So c'mon AMPAS, is this really how it is going to be? Is that what we, the movie-watching public has to look forward to each year? Because I couldn't care less who wins. I have no rooting interest. And no horse in the race. If you really want the tagline "Oscar-winning" to mean something to the next generation of movie-goers, you're going to have to connect with them. And posting your "no wizards, witches, puppets, mutants, bridesmaids, drivers, or samurais" nominations is not the way.

2012's Super Bowl XLVI on TV in 3-D

I recently purchased a 3D television (LG LW5600 3D LCD LED HDTV) and absolutely love it for watching 3d Blu-ray movies (i.e Thor, Captain America, Tron), but there is a definite gap in programming when it comes to TV and sports. Especially on AT&T's U-Verse, which no longer carries ESPN 3D or any networks that specialize in 3D.

But the word on the street is that NBC will be broadcasting this year's Super Bowl in 3D. I've had multiple sources tell me that DirectTV will definitely have it. And I'm hoping, somehow, U-Verse will have it as well. But I can't find a single article, or single worker at AT&T who can either confirm or deny it.

Which leads me to this blog post. If anyone has any information on this, please leave a comment. I'd love an answer by Saturday.

The Grey: the movie's deeper meaning between black & white

If you haven't seen it yet, all you need to know about the movie The Grey is that 59-year-old Liam Neeson fights off gray wolves with broken airline liquor bottles taped to his hands. But the screenplay, written by director Joe Carnahan and Ian MacKenzie Jeffers (who also wrote the book from which the movie is based), is much deeper than that. And that's where the SPOILERS begin!

Jeffers' book is titled "Ghost Walker" which all but proves my theory -- my theory that this film doesn't take place in the Alaskan wilderness, there is no plane crash, the wolves are a "test" of his faith, and Liam Neeson is already dead. 

My theory is that The Grey is purgatory.

The movie starts with John Ottway (Liam Nesson) contemplating suicide, a choice he consciously decides against -- or so we think. As the movie progresses there are three or four distinct times he could have actually died, leaving this world and entering a realm of purgatory where his faith is tested before moving on to the afterlife.

Throughout the film we also get glimpses inside Ottway's memories, including the repetitive vision of his wife lying next to him in bed, reminding him to "not be afraid" (we later learn that this is actually a hospital bed -- but can't tell which of them is sick). And we get a flashback to his job as a gray wolf assassin, protecting his fellow oil-riggers from attacks. It's a job he despises.

Jumping ahead, post-brutally-realistic plane crash, Ottway eases a victim's death by informing him to just relax, "it'll slide over you, it'll feel nice and warm." Strangely descriptive for any living soul to know without experiencing for themselves. His fellow survivors are equally curious.

Later that night the first group of gray wolves attack their "camp." Coincidentally, these are the exact predators that Ottway has become an expert on through his experiences and research for his job. The wolves continue to attack an unrealistic number of times as the days go on (something animal-rights activists are howling over), killing the survivors off one-by-one. Now it could just be that this is a Hollywood action film, but I would like to give it more credit than that. Maybe this is our first hint that these animals aren't real, the entire experience in fact is part of Ottway's "test."

And then there's Ottway's father's poem -- revealed during a deep conversation of faith, religion, and the after-life amongst the survivors:

Once more into the fray.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know.
Live and die on this day.
Live and die on this day.

I fully expected it to end with "... the grey." And when it didn't, the red flag was raised. So what is "The Grey" then? It can't just be a reference to Ottway's grey beard, can it? And grey wolves are actually "gray" wolves -- with an "A" not a "E". Which got me thinking...

Grey is the color between white and black, between life and death, between heaven and hell. The Grey is purgatory.

All marketers fib

Seth Godin recently retitled his book "All Marketers are Liars" to "All Marketers Tell Stories" -- but I think he was closer the first time around. He should have stuck with his gut on this one.

The truth is, "all marketers fib." They don't necessarily tell full blown lies. And they're not just telling stories (because they are in fact trying to sell you something). But they are attempting to persuade in the most effective and engaging way. And most of the time, that includes a little white lie.

So what is a "white lie" you ask? A "white lie" can be a manipulation of data, ghost written testimonial, skewed timelines, leading questions in a survey, or a simple confusion of correlation and causation. It happens all the time, in every industry, on every channel, in all facets of the function. And its not just the big name brands with big budgets, or the small-time companies trying to get a leg up on the competition.

All marketers fib.

QR eye for the straight guy

Do you know what a QR code is? Do you know what to do with one? Data suggests not.

According to this infographic, just 52% of you have even heard of or seen a QR code, and only 26% have actually scanned one. I'll admit, I was part of that 74% until just last weekend.

Last weekend I was the first of my friends to arrive at Happy Hour at a local Irish pub, Brazenhead, and while waiting for my friends and my Black & Tan I noticed the Heinz ketchup bottle had a QR code on it. I was bored, not yet drunk, yet slightly curious, so I decided to give it a try. If you didn't know, I am quite the technophile, and a marketer, but even I wasn't sure if I needed an app or if my phone's camera could somehow automagically take a picture of this "code" and actually tell me something. I quickly realized that couldn't be, but figured, most likely, that...

There's an app for that.


So I pulled out my iPhone, downloaded an app, and scanned this strange black-and-white square code-y thing.

Despite the narrative this whole process took mere seconds, but just as quickly, I was disappointed. The "offer" had expired, the website 404'd, and the entire experience was ruined. Fortunately, my beer arrived soon thereafter, and I hadn't even thought about it again until now. Or QR codes for that matter. But it's a lesson to any marketer considering a QR code campaign. If even I, a technophilic marketing millennial, don't use these things unless extremely bored, sober, lonely, and it's literally right in front of my face:

What's going to entice some random person scan one? 

Stocking up for a tebow plank mob

C'mon. All the cool people are doing it.

You're not cool if you haven't taken a picture of yourself laying horizontally, praying, or doing something so normal they use it as a stock photo in a picture frame. And how do you expect to define yourself as an individual and stand out from the masses without taking part in an organized dance in a seemingly unorganized world?

Okay, I'm being a tad flippant. But it is tempting right? I mean the world is built by bandwagons. Why not jump on? I finally did:

• Planking: an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location.
• Tebowing: a neologism derived from Tebow's propensity for kneeling and praying—even during crucial periods of a football game.
• Stocking: a participatory photo fad in which people take pictures of themselves recreating scenes from stock photos.
• Flash Mobbing: a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and sometimes seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment, satire, or artistic expression.

Now the only question is, what will the next Internet meme be?

You can't be siri-us

It's nothing new for developers to hide easter eggs in new technology and media. It's happened since the beginning of animated film at Disney, video games like Mario, and software like Microsoft's Windows 3.1. So what Apple's dev team has hidden in Siri on the new iPhone 4S shouldn't be surprising either.

What is surpising is "her" answers to the following questions:

1. “Siri, I love you.”
2. “Siri, open the pod bay doors!”
3. "Siri, where can I hide a dead body?"
4. "Tell me a story, Siri."
5. "Do I make your horny?"
6. "Knock, knock..."
7. "Who's your daddy?"
8. "What's the meaning of life?"
9. "Siri, will you take a photo of me?"
10. "Tell me a joke, Siri."

I'm dead siri-us. Just give it a try and see what she says.

If you find any others, add 'em to this list on ListAfterList.com here: Top 10 Things You Should Ask Siri on Your iPhone 4S

Literally reach inbox zero (0)

What’s "Inbox Zero"? "Inbox Zero" is a system created by a guy with an awesome name (Merlin Mann) to help you "reclaim your email, your atten­tion, and your life."

The "Zero" actually doesn't refer to how many mes­sages are in your email inbox -- though it's basically the goal of the system -- "Inbox Zero" is more about how much time, effort, and brainpower you put into your inbox. It's a better way to manage your time and get shit done.

I'm a big believer in the need for this -- though even if you agree with the need, desire to do so, and know how to do it, it's more difficult to accomplish than you think.

And "Inbox Zero" is even more complicated in today's multitasking world.

Today, you not only have email, but you are also connected to the world and receiving requests for your time through Twitter, Facebook, SMS, Messengers, Foursquare, LinkedIn and more. And don't forget about all those ole-fashioned phone calls and voicemails.

We have become so wired, so connected, and such multitaskers, that there are at times hundreds of those little red dots on your screen, and by turning those notifications off, you'd actually get less shit done.

In today's world, we need to be connected. You just need to learn how to deal with all the red dots that come with that connection, and train your brain to work through them like a to-do list. If you are distracted by the pop-ups, notifications, and dings, you are just distracted by the un-done. And that's a good thing -- because now you have motivation to finally get shit done and literally reach inbox zero (0).


If you want to learn more about "Inbox Zero," you should definitely:

• Watch the internet-famous Inbox Zero video
• Read the free Inbox Zero arti­cles from 43 Folders
• Follow Inbox Zero on the Twitter

Friend Me, Like Me, and Subscribe to Me

Facebook has rolled out yet another update, and this time it is directly taking on Twitter in an even more obvious and confrontational way. You can now "follow" on Facebook.

One of the best things about Twitter was that you could "follow" people without having to "friend" them. It was a simple yet fantastic feature that Facebook couldn't offer. In order to "follow" someones status updates, likes, and shares on Facebook you had let them follow yours. And typically, this wasn't an equally interesting two-way street. Typically, one person is a better "Facebooker" than the other. And typically, one person ends up regretting the "friendship."

But now, you can "subscribe" to people on Facebook.

With Facebook subscriptions you can quickly and easily follow someone's Facebook updates with the click of a button. There's no accepting, no de-friending, and no two-way connections. It even allows celebrities to open up their personal Facebook profiles to the public.

But Facebook didn't stop there, they also quite quickly and reactively stomped out the one flame Google+ had to offer -- circles. Google+'s circles allowed you to create lists of people to share specific content with, thereby sparing your other connections from being "spammed" with content they didn't care about. With the new Facebook subscriptions and revamped lists feature, you can now not only post to your "friends," you can also post to public, family, close friends, or any self-defined list of people you'd like.

Facebook's latest update has changed everything, and firmly protected itself against its competitors. It was a brilliant move to secure its foothold as the present and future king of the social networks. It has improved every person's experience on Facebook -- from power user to stalking Grandma. Because now, you can not only friend me and like me, you can now also subscribe to me.

Content is Queen, Conversation is King

Content has stepped down from the marketing throne and handed the new sales crown to it's rightful owner -- conversation.

For years, content was king. Content was the key to any successful website, service, product, or offer. Without content, you were just a salesman with a sales pitch. And that sales pitch was all-too-obvious to customers. An easy way around the cold calls and sell sheets was to create content that drove people into the funnel on their own. This funnel then filled with self-selecting interested customers -- if they liked your content they more than likely would like your offer -- who quickly moved through the funnel from lead to opportunity to sale.

Creating interesting and relevant content WAS the easiest way to generate leads and drive sales.

But now, conversation is king. Though content is still just as important as ever -- conversation is even more importanter than ever.

Conversation is simple by definition. It's the act of having meaningful conversations with customers and prospects. And not just over the phone or in person at conferences, conversation now occurs online -- on social networks.

The same social networks that once depended on interesting content for sharing and liking -- now need that content to generate interesting conversations. Without interesting conversations, your content and offer get lost amongst the clutter.

Most social networks and search engines today depend on algorithms that are smart enough to not only find what's relevant, they also know what's interesting. Interesting content leads to interesting conversations. And without interesting conversations, you'll just roll down the feed and disappear like crap in a toilet. Don't create crap!

Today, everyone is online. And everyone is creating content. Not everyone is generating interesting content that leads to interesting conversations. And therefor, you're not reaching everyone.

The surest way to reach the masses today IS to create interesting content that leads to ongoing conversations which stays relevant longer.


Today, conversation is king!

Hi, I am Ryan Pratt, and I am a frontrunner

I have to admit. I like winning and I like winners. And I especially like winning winners that know that they're winners. I am a big fan of the big W.

I do not understand how "fandom" and "loyalty" got all mixed up together? Why do people insist on being "loyal" and rooting for losing teams? They're losers! You don't watch bad TV shows or pay for a movie ticket to see a rotten film. So why do you keep paying to sit in left field in your smal midwest town?  You don't go out to eat,  have terrible service and crummy food, and make reservations to go back again next week. So why do you go out of your way to wear your brown and orange in Northeast Ohio every Sunday afternoon?

Fandom is defined by Merriam-Webster as "the state or attitude of being an enthusiastic devotee of a sport as a spectator." So I guess enthusiasm is to blame. But it's still no excuse.

In fact, there are no excuses, just results! Results are all that matter. Winning is all that matters. And for that reason, and that reason alone, I am frontrunner. 

Meet the Newest Angry Bird

Say "Hello" to the newest member of the Angry Birds family: Balloon Bird

Balloon bird is little orange canary that blows up like a balloon when tapped. It will be introduced in the new Halloween update to Angry Birds: Seasons, a spinoff of the wildly popular original.

And when I say wildly popular I am not exaggerating (which I tend to do). Angry birds has been downloaded more than 400 million times and has 30 million users playing it every single day. And only half of those Angry Bids fans are in America!

Angry Birds is a perfect example of success through simplicity. Today, things are often over-complicated.  Even things that are start off as a simple concept all-too-often become over-complicated with success. The people at Rovio have resisted this urge. Even while spreading their reach across multiple channels -- multiple spin-off games, plush toys, a movie, and even cookbook -- they've managed to KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid).

Software companies can learn from this. Take Facebook for example; thefacebook.com started as a simple concept where classmates could see each other's headshot, connect, and share notes. It soon became a way to "take the entire college experience online," and with every update, it became more and more complicated (and not without angering users). Today, Facebook is not just a place for classmates to connect, it's a place that 800 million people connect, post pictures, share what they're doing, who they're doing, what they're reading, eating, watching, listening to, and more. And with the upcoming Timeline update, it has officially become over-complicated.

But it's not only software companies that could value simplicity, all products and services should simplify their offer. Expansion and multiplicity only lead to confusion and devaluing your product. Soon-thereafter you'll have a complicated product surrounding what was once a valuable core concept. It can only go downhill from there. And the last thing you want is for it all to blow up in your face like when a green pig meets little yellow bird.

14 things I hate about Facebook

I hate when my Facebook "friends"...

1. Express their undying love for their best significant other in the whole world (when in reality, he or she most likely is not)
2. Tell the world how awesome their life is (not b/c it really is, but b/c they are trying to convince not only the world, but more-so themselves of it)
3. Post pictures of everything they eat (unless it's green eggs and ham we don't care)
4. Tell the world their monotonous everyday goings-on (we do not need to know your bedtime)
5. Search for sympathy comments b/c they are ill or sad (it's obvious and pitiful)
6. Post pictures of themselves taken by themselves with their shirts off (you're not that hot)
7. Have RIP status updates in grieving for someone who recently passed away (this is a personal experience that shouldn't be shared with the world)
8. Acting like they are smarter than they actually are (using a thesaurus doesn't make you any cooler)
9. Entire albums dedicated to babies and dogs (after 4 or 5 pics of a dog or baby laying there doing nothing we get the point... you think its adorable - even though the rest of the world probably does not)
10. Profile pics with other people in frame that are better looking than the actual person (you can't trick random people into thinking you are the other person very long - if anything you should post pics of you standing next to the fattest ugliest friend you have)
11. Profile pics of them with their significant other (thank god for the upcoming "Cover" feature)
12. Profile pics of celebs and athletes (YOUR profile pic is supposed to be a picture of YOU)
13. Profile pics that don't actually look like them (i.e. the best picture they ever had - could be from ten years ago)
14. Random people that act like they are your best friends (thank god for the new "Subscribe" feature)

The personification of the marketer

It has become glaringly obvious over the past few months that people do NOT want to be marketed to. They hate it. They call it SPAM.

SPAM is defined by Wikipedia as "the use of electronic messaging systems (including most broadcast media, digital delivery systems) to send unsolicited bulk messages indiscriminately." And those who create this electronic spam is defined as a spammer.

But today, consumers define any advertisement that doesn't openly declare itself as such as spam. And the same goes for marketers and advertisers. Just think of all the examples of people angered and upset over marketing, advertising, and hidden promotions lately:

• Tweets from people you don't follow on Twitter
• changes to Facebook to improve profitability
• ads on Hulu despite it being a paid service
• ads in iOS apps on your iPhone and iPad
• Season 5 of Mad Men cutting two minutes out of each episode to make room for more commercials

So what CAN marketers do to promote their products and services? The answer lies in interesting and relevant content.

Marketers must now be thought leaders, advocates, and gurus in their industry. They must have interesting insights. They must be informative and enlightening. If marketers want to be persuasive, they must be people -- not products.

Romcoms, mysteramas, dramcoms, and horredies

So you've heard of romcoms, right? Romantic comedies. A funny movie about love and relationships. Well a "romcom" is a portmanteau - or a blend of two or more words into one new word (i.e. smoke + fog = smog). And it's really the only movie genre portmanteau in existence. Until now...

Now, there are 3 more genre-crossing movie categories: mysteramas, dramcoms, and horredies. And here are some examples of each:

• Mysteramas: Ides of March, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
• Dramcoms: Sunshine Cleaning, Patch Adams, Raising Arizona
• Horredies: Zombieland, Tucker & Dale vs Evil, Shaun of the Dead

Can you think of any others?

10 things I hate about Twitter

I hate when someone I follow on Twitter...

1. Still uses the now-ancient "RT @twitterhandle" to retweet someone instead of just hitting the Retweet button.
2. Puts a period before an @mention because they want the whole world to see what they're talking about (not just those people who follow both of you).
3. Makes me click on the link to find out I'm completely uninterested.
4. Automatically posts every check-in on Foursquare and GetGlue.
5. Has an entire conversation with a friend on Twitter instead of just texting or calling them.
6. #humblebrags -- though they are funny when they're unknowingly retweeted by @humblebrag
7. Has a profile picture of anything other than their own headshot.
8. Just tweets a link with no supporting text
9. #pitytweets
10. Tweet thieves who repost original, funny, or interesting content without mentioning the source.

Public service announcement: Unsubscribe links on the bottom of every marketing email

So it appears that most people don't realize there is an "Unsubscribe" link or button on the bottom of every marketing email you receive. In fact, it's a law. So if there isn't one, report it as a violation of the CAN-SPAM act to the FTC here.

You'll get much accomplished by doing this versus replying to the do-not-reply or generic@email.address with swear words or threats (trust me, this does happen, and it is a much less "effective" way to expedite the unsubscribe process -- which by law can take up to 30 days).

If you aren't interested in the message or offer, it benefits everyone involved for you to unsubscribe. Obviously, you will stop filling up your inbox with crap. But what you might not realize is that the marketers sending you the message aren't interested in "spamming" you either.

Average unsubscribe rates can run from 0.1% to 0.5% of all emails sent (depending on the message and industry). And though most marketers aim for low unsubscribe rates, this KPI can be misleading. The main purpose of email marketing, and marketing in general, is to build brand awareness and drive sales. If the cash register doesn't ring it's all for not.

The most effective email marketing campaigns are targeted campaigns to extremely focused and interested lists of "prospects." These prospects are the only people who might convert to "clicks" and then convert to "customers." By removing yourself from email lists for uninteresting offers -- and increasing the unsubscribe rates -- the real KPIs only improve, and with it the chance of a "sale."

So go ahead, unsubscribe. Please. I'm actually begging you.

This has been a public service announcement from the multitasking millennial, Ryan Pratt.

Please stop requesting read receipts

Why do people still request "read receipts" when sending emails? Does anyone actually say "yes" to these irritating pop up's when they ask you to send someone a notice that their email has been read? I receive over 100 non-spam emails every day and probably get 5 read-receipt requests per week on average. I have NEVER ONCE said yes to a read-receipt request. Not even on accident.

You will get your "read receipt" when I am ready to reply to your email. 

There is absolutely no reason you need to know on an individual email-by-email basis when someone has read an email. If you're an email marketer, try Constant Contact, Mail Chimp, or ExactTarget. It's not the 90s. If you're just sending personal emails to people, don't worry. Your email will be sent successfully (unless you're a spammer -- and if that's the case you've got other things to worry about). And I will read it within hours of you sending it.

In fact, most people with smartphones (and over 300 million smartphones shipped last year) read emails within minutes of receiving it. And those who don't have push email notification systems (either on their computers, smartphones, or tablets) still check their email every 30-60 minutes. According to one poll, about 67% of people surveyed said they checked their email more than 6 times per day, and nearly 10% of those check email more than 40 times per day.

So I am begging you people, please stop requesting read receipts!

Start-Up Business Idea: Where2Watch.com

Alright, I have another brilliant start-up internet business idea: Where2Watch.com.

There are some basic versions of this idea already: Fanhattan, Flixster, and even IMDB and RottenTomatoes sort of do this, but nobody does it simply and intuitively. The idea is this:

You want to watch a movie (i.e. Fight Club) but you don't own it and don't know the best/cheapest/easiest/fastest way to do so. So you simply search the title of the film (i.e. "Fight Club") click on the correct title (in case there is another movie called "Fighters Club" or "Clubbing All Fight Long") and the system tells you all the possible options you have for watching, i.e.:

• Netflix - Free (stream - if already a member) - $9.99 per month (stream - if not a member)
• Hulu - (not available)
• YouTube - (not available)
• Movie Tavern - Retro Cinema - $7.50 per person
• HBO - Free (on demand - if already subscribed) - $14.99 per month (to add to current TV subscription)
• TBS - Free (DVR - Friday, November 11 at 9:00pm)
• iTunes - $4.99 (rent) - $12.99 (own)
• Amazon on Demand - $4.99 (rent) - $12.99 (own)
• Blockbuster - $1.99 (rent) - $10.99 (own)
• Best Buy - $12.99 (own)
• Wal-Mart - $9.99 (own)
• Redbox - (not available)

And then you cant sort and filter by best/cheapest/easiest/fastest as well.

So again, I ask, who wants to back me?

Start-Up Internet Business Idea: Stats.com

I have a brilliant start-up internet business idea: Stats.com.

Imagine a place where you could go and get stats on anything and everything. It would be like the tools that ESPN analysts have behind the scenes to pull incredible stats about any sporting event, but open to the public and at your disposal! And it wouldn't just be sports. It would cover all the major "categories" and "genres" including: sports, movies, music, TV, health, books, business, web, tech, celebrities and more!

You would just need the data (fed from industry leaders and databases around the world) and an above average algorithm powering the search engine, and you could ask it anything, like:

• Who is the oldest person to dunk a basketball in an NBA game?
• How many double cheeseburgers does McDonald's sell each day?
• How many baked potatoes does Wendy's sell each day?
• Who has the most country music awards in the past 3 years?
• What TV show has the most commercial time?
• What is America's favorite pizza topping?
• Does Dominos or Papa Johns sell more pizza?
• How many flashlight apps are there in the AppStore?
• What's the highest possible scoring Scrabble score?
• Which car maker sells the most convertibles?
• What time do most people eat dinner?

Etc., etc., etc.

So, who wants back me?

Ohistorical Marriage Proposal

Hey dudes, I got a fantastic idea for a marriage proposal that I can't use -- because I have an even better one for myself -- but I wanted to share because it shouldn't go to waste.

It came to me in a dream -- a dream where I actually proposed and it was wildly successful. So use this yourself, or make a movie out of it, because it's perfect. Here is what you need to do:

1. Create a fake Ohio Historical Marker sign for "Where [insert name] Proposed to [insert name]"
2. Post the sign in a park (or along a walking path).
3. Take your girlfriend (soon-to-be fiance) out for some fresh air.
4. Walk by it (if she doesn't notice -- stop and say, "Woah! Did you know this?".
5. Get down on one knee.
6. Start your proposal once she realizes what its says (the bottom half of the sign can be your verbatim proposal, but make sure to read it out loud yourself -- don't just have her read it -- she will never get through it without crying and screaming).

If anyone does this, please let me know how it goes!

Thanks, and good luck!